Pop and my return journey to Kerala

It all started when I reached Ahmedabad to give interview for IE or in better way “pop’s company”. I went to a ticket counter and booked a return ticket to Kerala in tatkal scheme. The lady told me that it is in waiting list. I asked her if I can get a confirmed in general or tatkal for all the possible ways to break my journey and reach kerala, to my disappointment she said no. Then I told her to get me the wait listed ticket in tatkal. That is most pathetic part, paying 150 bucks extra and then getting a wait listed ticket. Well, then I headed to pop's company. He had already told me to come to the office directly. He would pick me up from there. I took an auto. I knew that from auto it costs max Rs60. As the destination reached the auto-driver asked me Rs.5 more, I said bhaiyya apne to 60 mein final kiya tha, he told me yaha se sawari nahi milti and he started all that bauni ka time hai, and all that. I gave him 5 Rs. more. I thought that his need for Rs.5 is more than mine. Well some people don’t agree with me in this matter, but I want to ask them why they leave ‘change’ ranging from Rs.10 to Rs.20 after having food in some expensive restaurant. Does that make sense?

As I went there, pop and golcha came down to meet me. It was absolute delight to see them both after more than a year. Pop started out with his old stuff, like yaar tu to kerala jaakar mota hogaya. He was expecting me to say something like tu to patla ho gaya yar. But I didn’t find him thinner so I didn’t say that, in spite of knowing that he has been going to gym for last 1 year or may be longer.

Then we both went to his apartment, nice one, but darkened inside by plugging all possible spaces where light could find its way inside. He went back to office. I had bath and went for lunch in a Punjabi restaurant nearby. This was my first north Indian food after more than a year. I relished it. I slept for the rest of the afternoon and waited for pop. He came by at around 6:15 pm with his unique style aur gopi kya kr raha hai? Kya kiya din bhar? Khana khaya? Mein maggy banata hoo, yar din mein nahi khaya khana. I told him okay. We ate maggy, but its taste was not perfect because he had put oil in it. Then we watched serial sasural genda phool in his laptop Dell Studio. There is something about it, its ‘?’ key is broken. When I asked him, he told me that he threw a newspaper on it and the key broke. Dell, world’s second largest brand in laptops and so vulnerable keyboard, uh! He also told me that its motherboard has also damaged once, its fan has also given complaint. I thought of my 5 year old ACER laptop, whose model no longer exists now which I have. It complained only once, when its battery died one day. Otherwise it is in perfect shape. Then we had dinner after 1 or 2 hours and slept. But before that I had to face tons of questions from pop, like tere papa ko kya salary milti hai? Tere bhaiyya kya karte hai? Tumne apna ghar jaipur mein kyo choda? Tum kerala kyo gaye? Tumne kitne mein ghar becha? Tumne kitne mein kerala wala ghar khareeda? Tere papa ko jaipur mein salary kitni milti thi? Tere bhaiyya shadi kab kar rahe hai? Tere bhaiyya ki age kitni hai? Kerala mein kaun hai tumhara? Jaipur mein kaun hai tumhara? ………………………….. I don’t know whether he asks so many questions from me only. pop…. pop hai, woh kabhi nahi badlega, aapko khud hi badalna padega. This reminds me of an incident when sachin’s parents and his relatives had visited our DAIICT once. Sachin was not there, he had gone to give some TIME test, I guess. Pop took the whole responsibility to entertain Sachin’s relatives. As they entered the wing, pop first took them to sachin’s room and said yeh apna room hi hai, then he took them to Praveen’s room and said yeh bhi apna room hi hai, then he took them to our room and before he could say the line, he found Amit sleeping. He just changed his path, silently and took them to apurva-chomu room and said yeh bhi apna room hi hai. And when chomu came to his room, he found bags and suitcases he had never seen and his bucket missing, the “surprise look” on his face was worth watching.

In the morning, I went with pop and gave the interview and apart from 2 wrong answers I did well. Then pop dropped me to his apartment. This is the thing, he does all the favours without asking, and I like it. Then it was as usual for me, lunch followed by a long sleep. Pop came in the evening, we trio pop, lkd and I went to ahmedabad since lkd had to buy one kurta for him. We had dinner and came to house. We all had a chat, then we(pop,ks,lkd and me) watched Rakhta Charitra and went to sleep, pop insisting that he had to go to gym In the morning, but that never happened, he slept like a hathi even when I called him the next morning.

Next morning I bid adieu to all and went to station with ‘the other guy’ Prayesh from MScIT who also shares the flat with pop, lkd and ks .Let me tell u this, pop doesn’t like him. When I asked him why did he hate him, he had always one reply arey ye chutiya hai yaar. That’s it. When pop doesn’t like somebody, then it means that there is something wrong with the other person or his chords doesn’t tune with the same frequency with pop, because pop…. pop hai, woh kabhi nahi badlega, aapko khud hi badalna padega.

So finally I went to station and the train came on time and I found an empty compartment and took my temporary seat. My waiting list number had reduced to 19 and there was no chance of dropping further because the chart was prepared. I was hoping that nobody comes, but a gujarati family came. They had booked for 6 people but only 4 had come. I was delighted; I thought that God wanted me to sleep well, that’s why he sent me to this compartment. I had planned to convince T.T.E. to give me one of those two births. After 2 hours T.T.E. came and I requested him to give me birth, he told me that he will see. One more hour passed and I went to him and repeated the same. He told me to come after 5 min. I went after 15 min and to my surprise he yelled at me and told me that kerala ke liye nahi milega. I was angry, he wanted money from me, but how could I give him Rs.200 more when I had already paid Rs.150 for tatkal reservation. My mood was off, and then the trouble came. Two persons came who had got the rest of the births for which I was eying like a small child who had not eaten ice cream for a while and suddenly another child comes with a cornetto in his hand licking it. But, I had by then made my mind, that if I didn’t get any birth I would sleep on floor, but won’t go to that asshole T.T.E. again. The two persons who came were malayalis. One was old; looking serious and other was younger than him. I didn’t get up from the seat and treated as mine even though the two persons were asking me to get up, not literally but I sensed that by the look in their eyes. I was determined not to leave until they said so. But they didn’t utter a single word. In fact the younger one whose name was Girish sat on the other seat attached to the window. The day passed and came the night. I thought for a second, why didn’t I buy the newspaper from the station, which could have become handy at this time of need, to spread on the floor. Now the guy Girish who was alcoholic went to toilet and took his pint. He was in control but he was saying strange things. I didn’t order for dinner because I was in no mood to eat anything. Girish asked me, what do u like chapatti or rice? I told him that I don’t want to eat. He insisted and kept asking till I said that I like chapatti. He took out something wrapped in newspaper and offered it to me. I politely refused him, but his bottle of liquor was talking, not him. He then told me to open it. I opened it and found bhindi ke sabji and roti. He asked me what is inside and I said the same. He was shocked. He told me that his chechi (elder sister in malayalam) had packed two legs of chicken with it. He immediately took out the phone and dialed some number, but the call couldn’t connect. Then he told me to eat it. I suddenly thought of those stories when a fellow passenger gave something to eat the other passenger and the other passenger dozed off and this passenger took all the belongings and left. I refused him the last time. But all my efforts were in vain. I finally agreed to eat if he also joins me; I thought, why take a risk if he has really mixed something in the food, let him also suffer. We ate and then started talking. His whole family was in Ahmedabad except his wife who was in kerala. I didn’t ask why his wife was living separately. He was leaving for Dubai the coming week; he had got a new job there with high salary. He showed me the VISA papers and his international driving licence also. He then asked about my profession and knowing the purpose of my visit to Ahmedabad, he asked for my resume. I firmly said not to worry about me, but I had to give in to his demand. He told me that he would give my resume to recruitment agencies there. Finally it was 10:30 and the gujarati family went to sleep. Girish offered me his birth which he got from the T.T.E. by paying Rs.200 extra. I firmly said no, and told him that I would spread the bed-sheet between the two lower births and then sleep. He told me that it would be very uncomfortable and assured me that he would find waste boxes so that I could use them as an alternative to bed-sheet to sleep. He went somewhere. I waited for him, but he didn’t return. I was very hesitant to ask about boxes from the pantry guys, I found it too awkward. But finally I convinced myself and went to pantry car. As I was tearing the box to expand it like a sheet, I saw Girish coming with two boxes in his hands. He was happy as if he had solved ‘his’ problem. I thought what a guy. He took the boxes all the way till we reached our compartment and spread them on the floor. He was ready to even fight for me with the woman who was lying on the lower birth, because, initially she was reluctant to let me sleep there. I was repeatedly telling him not to do everything I could do it myself. But he didn’t listen; the alcohol effect was still there. Finally all went to sleep.

Next day the, the train was running in Goa. The railway track was laid near some of the beaches so we were enjoying the journey. The gujarati family left the compartment at madgaon station and a new family came there 6 in numbers. Now Girish and the other malayali had to leave the birth to them. I became happy, because now I was not alone who was birthless. Then we three shifted to the next compartment. Meanwhile Girish got down, went to a bar situated just outside the station and had a quarter beer and also bought vodka pouch with him. I had never seen liquor in pouches before. Then the best thing of the day happened. Around 10 girls boarded the train; luckily they came to our compartment. They were all waitlisted girls. Who cares, my heart got a new life, and it started beating like mad. Most of the girls were pretty and too frank to my surprise; they were all malayalis and soon started conversation with us. Let me tell you one more thing, malayali girls on average are more beautiful than the girls in Jaipur or Ahmedabad. I am not considering here the dressing sense, the mallu girls do not fair well in it as far as I have seen. Now I know for sure that Pop would be thinking in mind that south mein to bahut garmi padti hai, waha to log kale hote hai, to fir waha ki ladkiya sundar kaise ho sakti hai. The official ratio of girl:boy in kerala is about 3:2, but I think it is more than that. So you can find girls, women everywhere, all the offices, bus stops, colleges etc. In some colleges the boys drop a course in middle when they find them in minority as compared to girls with male:female ratio as little as 1:20 .This is the official information which was published in The Hindu.

The other malayali guy started talking now, he had a girl who was studying in 6^th STD, and I think these girls reminded him of her. These girls were studying medicine in a college in Goa. They were talking nonstop and offered me sweets also but sadly I had nothing to offer them. I was most of the time listening only, due to my poor grasp in spoken Malayalam. This has been my problem ever since I have stepped my foot in Kerala. When I start conversation in Malayalam, the shopkeepers think that I am north Indian and they start speaking in hindi, and this leaves me in embarrassment. It was the only reason I could not utilize the opportunity there. The girls were continuously talking about their profession, patients, diseases and all the medical stuff and I was just smiling at them and sometimes speaking. One of them also showed me her drawings, her institute pictures, praising it like there is no other institute more beautiful than it. I thought of telling about DAIICT, but then thought it is childish to counter her by saying that my college is better than her. The day went normally until Girish spoiled it. He tried to awake a girl who had been sleeping heavily. He was trying to awake her so that he could give her sweets. She immediately got angry and backfired at him. To make things worse Girish was drunk and he smelled like a rot. He had just emptied half a bottle. The girls didn’t talk to him after that. They thought as if Girish is some kind of drunkyard. It was Girish who had introduced me to them. I also lost the interest in talking to them. We both left the compartment and went to our previous compartment as it was vacant now. Girish, other malayali guy (who talked less) and I were talking now. The other guy was amazing his name was Pratap and he had a vast knowledge of experience in his kitty. He had been to all the gulf countries (pop pronounce “gulf” as “woolf”, I think that both the words are miles away as far as pronunciation is concerned). I think he was most amazing guy I had ever seen. I listened to everything he said. The rules in Gulf countries, the power of the royal family in administration, the punishment of chopping hands if someone is caught stealing, the discipline, how he helped people to get jobs in gulf countries and how he helped a stranger with money to buy auto-rickshaw so that he could start his living etc. If I write about those stories then I need one more page so I am stopping about him here. We ate dinner together, had chat till 2:00 am. Soon the train reached Aluva, my station and I got down. Girish got down with me and bought a tea for me, in spite of me refusing it. What a person he was. I had never formed a bond with other passengers before. I will never forget this journey. All this happened because of waitlisted ticket in sleeper class in Great Indian Railways. Can it happen in any other means of transport or in any other country? I don’t think so. Long live Indian Railways and Indian people.